New "Awareness Month" Ideas

Let's face it: The "Awareness Month" thing is getting a little out of control. Breast Cancer and Autism Awareness months aside, the entire phenomenon has jumped the shark already. My solution is simple: Rather than getting annoyed and choosing to remain unaware of all of them, I want to capitalize financially on the trend. Imagine the T-Shirt sales, the ribbons, the buttons, the nobles looks I could get from random strangers. It would be so worth it!

Feel free to use any of these ideas. Just give me credit for it when someone asks how you came up with such a brilliant and beautiful concept, okay? Cool.

January: Choking Awareness Month. Colors: Purple & Gold
This is the time to remember all those suffering Minnesota Vikings fans who will be forced to watch their team find away to lose in the playoffs against all odds. They will NOT be forgotten!

February: Procrastinator's Awareness Month Color: Whatever (I was going to pick, but my deadline snuck up on me)
For all those whose bills are due at the end of the month, Procrastinators suffer the most in February. Their deadline comes early this time of year. Let's help THEM be aware!

March: Clariton D Awareness Month Color: Yellow
Celebrate this month in honor of all us allergy sufferers in Oregon who can't get Clariton D over the counter. The meth users may have stolen our privileges, but they can never take our Kleenex. Am I right?

April: Fools Awareness Month Color: Tied Dye
For all those who always forget that it's the first day of April... for all those who have ever walked into Burger King and asked for the Left Handed Whopper: This one is for you.

May: Last Month of Winter Awareness Month (Wisconsin) Color: White
Stand with your northern brothers and sisters in their dreams for spring!

June: Parental Panic Month Color: Red
As summer vacation begins, let's remember moms and dads who are worried sick about having to actually spend time with their offspring.

July: Popcorn Bilkers Month Color: White and Yellow
Time to stand up to theater concession stands, people! Those kernels marked up at least 1000%! And yes, I'll take extra butter. Sheesh!

August: Litte Caesar's Hot 'n Ready Awareness Month Colors: Red and Gold
August is named after Caesar Augustus, so what better month to make others aware of the fantabulous $5 (ish) Hot 'n Ready Pizza deal? Breastplates and broom-helmets are strongly encouraged.

September: Sabre Month (Formerly Dunder Mifflin Month) Color: Blue
Back to school time means your kid needs paper. By a cheap printer, and you'll get a ream of 20 lb. white for free!

October: "Sorry We Forgot About You, Baseball" Month Colors: Brown & Green
What better way to remember America's former favorite pastime by tuning in to the last 20 minutes of the World Series?

November: Turkey Activist Awareness Month Color: Black
As you're enjoying a succulent deep fried butterball turkey this thanksgiving, take a moment to remember those tortured souls who are protesting outside.

December: Religious Opposition Month Colors: Drab Ones
Fight religious holiday overtones with angry ceremonies and dogmatic zeal! Spend Christmas Eve howling at the moon!

Well, there it is. I hope this helps. Remember, I don't want royalties on any of this, but I always accept thank you notes and bro hugs.

Jason Hague teaches, writes, parents, travels, blogs, and watches the Dallas Cowboys. His life goal is to do all of those things in the same day.

By Jason Hague

How to Parody an Infomercial

It was Andy Warhol who clairvoyantly declared "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes." The Internet has born witness to a meteoric rise of video-sharing websites, allowing absolutely anyone to gain tremendous attention for virtually anything.

One category of viral videos that has seen great success is that of infomercial parodies. In the wake of such over-the-top, strangely captivating advertisements as the Sham-Wow©, Orange-Glo©, and Snuggie© infomericals, the internet has been abuzz with mash-ups, remixes, and ground-up reconstructions of infomercials that mock everything from the concept of the product for sale to the outlandish nature of the claims in the commercial itself.

For every great parody on the Internet, there are a dozen lousy ones. If you find yourself inspired to produce your very own Mockomercial, there are a few things you will need to keep in mind to avoid the latter category:

#1) First of all, know your target. Are you mocking an existing product, an existing TV celebrity, an existing advertisement style, or something entirely unrelated that you think would translate well to this form? If your target is something that already exists, especially something that is already the subject of much mockery, keep in mind the second rule:

#2) Trust your audience. Avoid the strong urge to outright call something stupid, pointless, or overtly sexual. If your final product is successful, the viewers can figure out for themselves what is so ludicrous about the advertisement. The message will be most clearly communicated if you adhere religiously to the third and most important rule:

#3) Be professional. Good sound quality, well-lit and professionally juxtaposed footage, and the best actors you can obtain are oft-overlooked elements to a successful comedic product. Music and sound effects should be used sparingly, and volume should be carefully controlled. Stock footage should be apt and thoughtfully applied. Your video camera need not be of particularly high quality, so long as the video you take is executed masterfully.

No infomercial is complete without the obligatory this-is-why-you-need-this-product parade of stock footage depicting a man struggling to shovel snow, a woman burning herself on a mug, what have you.

Waste no time or money, and come straight to us for all your high-quality stock video footage needs!

By Rachel Paiste

Avoid Stupidity If You Can

This planet sucks! You solve one problem and you are immediately hit in the face with another. It is indeed rare to meet a person without any problems. In fact if you do, you are probably meeting a liar.

For some strange reason, we all insist on denying our true situation. We feel as if we are failures, if we admit we have problems. Yet problems are the normal way of life in this world. Everybody has problems and they never cease. There is always a new twist, another difficult combination of circumstances.

Unfortunately, you also cause many of your problems. You make them through 'bad' choices, 'mistakes', 'bad timing' or just plain stupidity.

Most of the time there is very little that could have been done to avoid the problems you have. They seem to twist their way into lives through bizarre circumstances and perfectly synchronized timing (by whom I do not know!). However... stupidity causes many of your difficulties and really, they could often have been avoided.

Stupidity is the result of not acting responsibly.

• You may have had too much to drink and caused harm to yourself or someone else.

• You may have not been concentrating while you were driving and had an accident.

• You may have been on drugs and did something very much out of character.

• You may have lost your temper and said things that cannot be taken back.

There are endless tragedies that can be told. Anyone could tell you of times that they did not act responsibly. As a result their life was more complicated for themselves and those around them.

Well, all of your acts of stupidity are in the past now, (hopefully) and it is no good having regrets. There is not enough time in life for that. Get on with your life and realize that having a sense of responsibility is not something just for the oldies with no sense of adventure, it is something that needs to be considered in every persons life - often. You do not need to add to your own problems.

Take the example of gambling at the roulette table. There is nothing wrong with it, as long as you are willing to bear the losses if you are not lucky. If you lose and you complain, then you did not consider the cost. If you can wear the loss, then go ahead. If it would mean hardship for you or someone else, think twice, you are being irresponsible and self-destructive.

When I am sparing at Tae Kwon Do, I try to be careful not to injure myself, as well as trying to avoid any serious injuries to my training partner. I consider the cost of my actions. I pull back on punches, do not kick as hard as I could. I am not willing to bear the upset, if I was to harm my friend.

If my partner is going too hard on me, I will not hesitate to ask him to back off a little. It is not about winning, it is about being there and being able to laugh about it tomorrow.

Consider the possible outcomes of your irresponsible actions and you might act a little differently. Life is hard enough without you making it worse for yourself.

Colin Perini

Author of 'The Creative Way' - A Guide to Your Personal Creativity

Colin Perini is a Master of Creativity. You can read some of his creative and inspiring comments at: http://thecreativeway.com.au.

Colin is a world-renowned seascape artist with work hanging in over 25 countries. You can see some of his seascapes at: http://colinperini.com.

By Colin Perini

Laughing is No Joke - The Benefits of Laughter

You are never going to believe the trick I played on my very own mother while I was at her house the other day.

"Hey mom! Mom! Come here a minute! That's what you could hear billowing through her house. My poor mother had no idea what was coming, and I wasn't asking her where the meatloaf was.

I looked at her and said, "Okay, on the count of three, just start laughing." She probably thought I was nuts. "1,2,3... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." What started as a fake synthetic chuckle turned into a real and sincere roar of rolling-on-the-floor, laughing our butts' off laughter.

If you haven't laughed today, you aren't going to be laughing at what you are missing out on. According to Helpguide.org, laughing has incredible benefits, including the ability to:

1. Boost immunity
2. Lower stress hormones
3. Decrease pain
4. Relax your muscles
5. Prevent heart disease
6. Enhance resilience
7. & Strengthen relationships

There are even entire clubs devoted to laughing. The concept may sound unique, but there are reported to be more than 5,000 laughing clubs around the world.

So if you want to mix things up and brighten someone's day, I'm giving you a script to try with a friend. (Feel free to improvise):

You: Hey {insert victim's name}!
Victim: What do you want?
You: Come here and give me a hot second.
Victim: This better be worth it.
You: Ohhh you just wait and see {insert victim's name}. I'm going to drop you to the floor.
Victim: I'm scarred.
You: You should be. On the count of three, start laughing.
Victim: You're an idiot.
You: Just do it. 1,2,3... Hahaha
Victim: hahaha
You: hahahahaha
Victim: HAHAHAHAHAHA
You: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Don't sue me for what happens next.

About the Author:
Jim Camut, editor of ManifestWell.com, strives to bring forward ideas that can help us live healthier, enlightened, happier, and more wholesome lives. His passion of total well-being comes with his pursuit as a professional athlete.

ManifestWell.com is about moving ideas forward that expand our minds and amplify our total wellness and well-being. It is growing community of thinkers, innovators, and all those who want to help manifest the level well-being allowing us to live the fullest lives we can imagine.

By Jim Camut